


No Homo

by RhododendronWilliams



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Dragons, F/M, M/M, Silly, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2013-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-26 18:39:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/968969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhododendronWilliams/pseuds/RhododendronWilliams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ginny is horny.. .but for Harry AND Draco, who is now a dragon. Can Harry withstand this? He is quite homophobic.. Who's the father of teh baby?! (silly crack!fic, no offense to HP fans)</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Homo

Harry Potter woke up one morning and... got himself a gun. Nah he just shaved himself, with a razor in the shape of a gun. He wished he was more badass, like Tony Soprano but not as fat. Also younger. Harry is now 42 years old..

Harry went to the kitchen where Ginny is waiting. "Morning love" he says. "Morning" says Ginny but doesnt look up from the paper "Is something wrong" says Harry. 

"Harry.. I'm HORNY...."

"Oh good" says Harry and takes off his pants.

"NO Harry, I want something new. A threesome."

"Great!!" laughs Harry and asks who with, sexy chicks? Herimone? Luna? 

"Draco.."

"EWW! NO HOMO!!!!!" shouts Harry all homophobicly. 

"Harry if you are homophobe i will divorce you" says Ginny angrily. 

"Oh ok but honestly i don't like draco!!

"Havent you heard he is changed? He's a dragon now and much nicer."

"OH?"

"So it's beastiality i guses but.."

"Yeah kinda kinky, but I'm more interested now."

"So its settled, we invite Draco over"

"OK"

\----

Two days later, a smoke cloud comes near the house... "Oh Harry I think it's DRaco" "NO HOMO.. sorry it's just an instinct i have.." "HARRY U R SUCH A DUDEBRO" "Sorry"

"Hi Potter. How's tricks?" 

"Hi Draco I'm OK and you?"

"Never beter, except a bit smoky HAHAHAHA"

"You still suck at telling jokes"

"Hi Ginny"

"Hi Draco........................."

"Wow why so flirtaytious"

"Well.... we have sth to tell you... we wanted to.. .have a THREESOME!!!!"

"OMG"

"NO HOMO"

"LOL potter toatlly homo"

"Well just a littel bit OK. How do uyou have sex with a dragon" 

"Well u have to be a little careful but I think we can start, by Ginny suckin gmy.."

"Ah OK" Ginny smilse and gives Draco the "royal treatment" seh often gives Harry......

"Ah ooh"

"MMPH OW!! ARGH!!!"

"Aww so sorry Ginny, flames come out of it now. Let me do a healing spell." He dose it and Ginny feels better. "That was s ofun!" she says 

"OK Potter it's your turn you do Ginny i'll do you bc a man can beter stand the fire

"SUre"

"But no homo," he added. "Too late Potter I'm already halfway inside you" "So I see feels good"

They did it........ for a longg time, three hours. First it was Ginny-Harry-Draco, then Ginny-Harry, then Ginny-Draco-Harry, then Ginny-Draco and finally just Harry-Draco. All had orgasms. 

"Ahhh" said Hermione "this was the best ever!!"

"Yeah I loved it" says Harry ."Maybe I AM homO"

"Oh Harry will you quit with the homo"

"Sorry"

9 months later...................................................................

"OW OW OMG" "PUSH PUSH NOW" 

The doctor looks worried "Something is wrong with this chil dbut what?"

"HARRY HELP ME" "Don't wory Herimone theres nothing i can do" "YOU PIG" "Sorry but i cant help" 

"CALL DRACO" "Why" "It could be his" "OMG"

"Draco? It's Harry. POTTER. You did me so good 9 months ago remember?! Yeah, no hom oehre either hey listen. Ginnys giving birth and it could be yours can you come over please?" "OK" says Draco

Soon a puff of smoke and he is tehre "Hi Harry where is Ginny"

"Inside the operating threater they won't let me in"

"Why dont you use nivisibility cloask we can g oin" "Oh DUH Lets"

They go in. Ginny is in a lot of pain and screams "I HATE HARRY" and also "I HATE DRACO" bc she doesnt know whichi s the father. 

"Thats a bit rich" says DRaco "Nah seh does this during her PMS too" says harry calminly.

"PUSH" says the doctor "OK HERE IT IS, a boy:" "OMG is it dragon or human" "It's.. BOTH!"

"WHAT!!!" shout Harry and Draco so they are revealed. 

"This baby has a dragon's tail and a human's head. On the head is a lightning scar. So..the baby is fathered by two ppl! Or one person and one dragon to be exact.." 

"Were fathers!!" shouts Draco "NO HOMO" shouts Harry.

This baby was named, James Lucius after both's fathers. Draco moved in with the family so he can look after his son and also have sex sometmise... They had there more babies named Lily Luna, Ginny George and Albus Neville. They'er sooooooooo happy. 

THE END


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